Bye maw...(1 down, 1 more to go--it just gets harder from here.)

I just cut work yesterday. I could not bring myself to work. No. Not after we sent off Janjan (mawmaw) at the airport yesterday. Not after I hugged her to bits. Especially not after I opened her remembrance for me in the taxi and bursted out into sobs.

Two months ago, I thought that I would just have an ordinary summer. Meaning: the usual work and the one-time trip to the beach. But with some pleasant twist of fate, a long lost friend of mine arrived a day before my birthday and introduced me to a new friend later on. I call my long lost friend (YA)Wawah and my new friend (A)Mawmaw.

So the usual summer became an unusually great summer for me and it consisted of drinking almost every night (which explains my tardiness), watching movies, grilled hotdog and mallows night, other food trips, shopping, having a very long vacation on th beach, a 2-month long "sleepover", music tripping, internet surfing, bar hopping, "ungo" sessions, tattoo sessions, belly ring piercing and endless laughing and conversations about the 3 major L's in life: love, life and lust (hehe).



Everyday. It was always me with my Mawmaw and Wawah. Definitely no DULL moment with them. They were my ka-petes for the entire summer. My schedule revolved around them and I have no regrets because I could now say that I had a blast.

So why talk in past tense? That was the catch. From the very beginning, I knew that the end of summer would also signal the end of our hangouts. So we tried our best to fit in everything we wanted to do together in that span of time. And boy did we take it seriously! Mawmaw and I were already boarders at Wawah's place. Tita Christine has accepted that fact, I guess. That she would have to share her daughter with two other "almost-daughters" during her true daughter's short vacation here in Cebu. Hehe.


And yesterday--OH YESTERDAY...i hated yesterday. We knew yesterday would come. But we were so into deep in our "lingaw" that nothing prepared us for yesterday. Wawah and I were silent on our taxi ride going back. No one wanted to say anything. We tried to make it a feel-good day, went to the spa, ate scallops, drank tequila, watched dvds, but napiang na ang mga PETES. Its just not the same anymore.

Yesterday was DAY 1 of Manna's separation anxiety series. A few more days and its Wawah's time to go. Yesterday Wawah and I sent off Mawmaw. Next week--if i muster the strength, I'll also send her off. This time I would be alone. This time there will be no spa treatments or other feel-good stuff to do after.

And then I'm gonna go back to the life that I was used to. It's not a bad life, for sure. But its not gonna be the same as my 2-month long MIGHTY BONDing with my ka-petes.

A few hours from this moment, Mawmaw will be arriving in Dubai. When will I see her again? We still do not know. And Wawah? Next week will start another 9-month long absence as she tours the world again.

Thank you ka-petes for a very wonderful summer.

I will SURELY miss you.
so much.

Take care and come home to me soon, ok?

www.deviantart.comit's like that, and that's the way it is. *sigh*

"But life just gets crazy, living life gets hard to do

And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew."

-Sunday Morning; Maroon 5

True, true.

MOST of the time, things don't go the way we want them to. Just like the line above, it is easy to think about just packing up your stuff and say "Alright, I'm done with life, can I go now?" But then again, it is NOT like that. It cannot be like that. Unless ofcourse you are suicidal--which at times I believe all of us has ever been. (The only reason why we are still alive now is because we realize that its not the way to go--so if one of YOU plan to do so--STOP RIGHT NOW. basaha sa ni.)

One thing I always say myself when I "think" that I am in very deep shtit is that "THIS TOO SHALL PASS." It is a very good advise I got from my friend Karen (I miss you dear) and at 22, meeehn I could really prove that its true.

I got my very first problem when I was in grade 6. I had a fight with my homeroom partner, Kaizan. We were very close friends and at the same time, partners at an activity that required carpentry skills--thus the need to be partnered with a guy. I thought I would never get to finish it without his help. But weeks after we became friends again.

First year HS, I had a very bad experience with "bullying". (I will not elaborate and I will not drop names.) I wanted to transfer to another school, but after one year, I overcame it, and I am the strong person that I am now.

Thesis during college was such a *****! I had partners but I did most of the work. Almost was not able to graduate on time. Took me 2 years and a 1 M gallons of blood, sweat and tears to finish it. But I did. Graduated on time too. :)

And ofcourse there are the occasional heavy heartbreaks. We all go though that, don't we? The nights you spend crying, the aching feeling in the heart every time you wake up. The agony-OH THE AGONY! I talked with a friend before and she said that a heartbreak was the hardest type of pain because you cannot just drink ponstan (or alaxan, perhaps? hehe) and expect the pain to be gone in hours. No. I have had my fair share but eventually...I just got over it. I did think that I never would, but I did. And I am pretty sure that a lot of you can also agree with me on that.

And then ofcourse I can state more of my "troubled" experiences but who would want to read more of that? Thing is, its true. It will all just pass. And eventually, whatever experience that was helps us become better persons--ofcourse if we channel the negative experiences into positive ones. It's just learning how to "carry" it, I guess.

I know, I know...kapoy gyud sha usahay. Its always one problem after another, but life is one whole learning experience. And I guess that is the fun in it. How will you be able to differentiate the feeling of happiness if you do not have the feeling of loneliness to compare it with, right?

You might be asking, why the hell do I sound like a self-help book right now? Let's just put it this way, I am also trying to tell myslef this: "Manna Sayon Alcaraz, you are a warrior, you have been through hell and back, you know you are strong--so come on! THIS TOO SHALL PASS."

nuff said.

so that's why its CLICHE.

So, ok I had a bad day yesterday. I was pissed. What's a girl to do?

I'm not your typical cliche' girl who goes to the salon and shops when she's upset. No, I'm the type who'd normally go home, hide in my room and hibernate till the feeling goes away. Sometimes I'm the type who'd call up friends and invite them to drink--and I'd rant while THEY drink.

But yesterday, I felt like experiencing the cliche-ish lifestyle. So I went to X-salon and had my hair chopped. This is the shortest my hair has ever been in 3 years. Wanna see? Hehe...



Then I went to ayala and shopped. Ok so I didn't really shop SHOP...I just bought a dress. And a set of underwear. Hehe.

Then I ate go-go sandwich at KFC. Alone. :)

As if that wasn't cliche enough, I went to one of my best "girl friend's" place and had a Grey's Anatomy marathon. We even slept over there. Haha.

So here's a list of what a girl's got to do when she's pissed. Damn right i followed it religiously! :)

==salon== check
==shopping== check
==pig out== check
==dvd marathon with "girlfriends"== check
==slumber party== check

And my pissy feeling?

*POOF*

Gone, just like that.

Now I know why it's cliche.

It's cliche coz it works. :)

The INEVITABLE question...den den den den.

I am trying my darndest best to tame this very angry lion inside my head but it just won't quit roaring demmit!

SHOULD I?

(Or should I quit the ASKING and actually start the DOING?)





Welcome to my life ladies and gentlemen.
Hope you're all having a grand time.




"We're fine people. We do fine. We live fine."





...


Yep.

Just another day in the life of MSA.

Can you believe I'm learning life lessons from a TV series?

Many people told me that I should really start watching Grey's Anatomy. I was hooked on House before and they said GA was better. I didn't really get the chance but last night, we watched season 4 at a friend's house. Would you believe that the first few episodes really got me thinking. Here are some of the lines (or atleast versions of how I remember them) that got my mind running:

"Walking away makes you an honorable man when you realize that your'e no longer getting what you deserve." (or something like that)

"Its better to be alone and feel like a success than be in a relationship and feel like a failure."

"Change. We don't like it. We fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying, but here's the truth sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything."

"You don't destroy the people you love."

"The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse." (this is my favorite)

"Things don't always go the way we want them to. But you just have to get over it. "

AND THEN, there's this scene:

Dr. Derek Shepherd: You know what I talked about with the other Grey? All the things this Grey won't let me say.
Dr. Meredith Grey: You can say anything to me.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime.
[Meredith takes a few steps back]
Dr. Derek Shepherd: . Do you see what happens? I say things like that and you fight the urge to run in the opposite direction. It's okay. I understand. I didn't, but now I do, I do. You're just getting started and I've been doing this for a long time. Deep down you're still an intern, and you're not ready.
Dr. Meredith Grey: I'm not ready right now, but things can stay the way they are and I'll get ready.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Things can't stay the way they are. We can still meet in the elevator, the on call room. And maybe you'll get ready, and I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready.
Dr. Meredith Grey: Okay then.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Yeah, but what if, what if while I'm waiting I meet someone who is ready to give me what I want from you?
Dr. Meredith Grey: What if you do?
[the elevator opens in front of them and Derek steps in]
Dr. Derek Shepherd: I don't know.
[the doors close between them]

Ummm....I can't remember the rest but I'm pretty sure there's more.

eyeloviiit. :)

mikerly

Another RAIN-inspired post :)

Paint me with red

Let me see it

Sing me your song

Let me hear it

Embrace me with your passion

Let me feel it

Shower me with your tears

And let me dry it.

Bring me your sorrow

Let me soothe it

Extend me your hand

Let me hold it

Show me your wounds

Let me heal it

Give me your heart

And let me love it.

Forget yesterday

Let me erase it

Worry not for tomorrow,

Let me bless it

Offer me your present

Let me beautify it

Entrust to me your life

And let me shelter it.

Signed:

Your guardian angel...

A little drama won't hurt...

WARNING: I used to be very dramatic in my posts before but I realized that it could get really cheesy and corny so i decided to make my blog fun and light. However, the weather today just made me feel really down, its depressing. So its up to you if you read this but really, major mush going at yah starting right now....

...
...
...
...


puhtehk nakalimutan kong sasabihin ko! (naubos sa warning)

false alarm, i guess. hahaha.

And then there were three...

Will it be a David vs. David showdown or will Syesha make it to the top 2?

IF YOU ASK ME, I'm all for a David vs. David showdown!

I am so excited for this week's American Idol. Last week's elimination did not come as a surprise for me. I knew Jason Castro sealed his fate in the competetion by choosing really lame songs to sing.



Syesha Mercado doesn't really stand out for me.



She sings well but she lacks some *ooompht*, she doesn't have the "X FACTOR" that is needed to be America's next Idol. Or I don't know, maybe its just me...But seriously, I really think that we're not gonna see her anymore next week.

I can't choose between the two Davids though. I do have dreams of making David Cook my husband *ahem*, but both Davids really got it--the talent, the personality, the right songs, the right praises from the right judge (read: Simon Cowell). Both of them have been giving strong performances lately.

Archuleta has been consistenty good--but Cook also has his surprising moments that are seriously unforgettable (The night he sang Billie Jean and Always be My Baby.)

Which David do you think will win?

I can't make up my mind!!!

And then there were three...

Will it be a David vs. David showdown or will Syesha make it to the top 2?

IF YOU ASK ME, I'm all for a David vs. David showdown!

I am so excited for this week's American Idol. Last week's elimination did not come as a surprise for me. I knew Jason Castro sealed his fate in the competetion by choosing really lame songs to sing.



Syesha Mercado doesn't really stand out for me.



She sings well but she lacks some *ooompht*, she doesn't have the "X FACTOR" that is needed to be America's next Idol. Or I don't know, maybe its just me...But seriously, I really think that we're not gonna see her anymore next week.

I can't choose between the two Davids though. I do have dreams of making David Cook my husband *ahem*, but both Davids really got it--the talent, the personality, the right songs, the right praises from the right judge (read: Simon Cowell). Both of them have been giving strong performances lately.

Archuleta has been consistenty good--but Cook also has his surprising moments that are seriously unforgettable (The night he sang Billie Jean and Always be My Baby.)

Which David do you think will win?

I can't make up my mind!!!

mana oi.

Mao ni ang giingon na SHORT LIVED.

d nko.
d nko.
d nko.
D NKO.

mommy...yayay. :,(


ingon tawko. kadakong HAHAY.

ATTN. ANGELS: our fellow angel is now a MOMMY! :)

We all remember JM Rano right? Our ever fierce small but terrible defensive line? Well, she already gave birth to a healthy baby girl! Here's the details of our chat:

jan michel rano: hi
Manna Alcaraz: wooooow nnganak nka!!!
Manna Alcaraz: baby girl?
Manna Alcaraz: name?
jan michel rano: yeap
jan michel rano: jaimee aneeza michaela
Manna Alcaraz: send me a picture para i will blog about it
Manna Alcaraz: hoy ngano naa may michela? haha
Manna Alcaraz: iemail ang pictures-- manna_sa@yahoo.com
Manna Alcaraz: date of birth, weight, complete name etc
Manna Alcaraz: hehe
jan michel rano: http://www.flickr.com/photos/babyjam0416/
Manna Alcaraz: sige2
jan michel rano: april 16, 2008 @ 6:44pm
Manna Alcaraz: details
Manna Alcaraz: weeee
jan michel rano: 6.3lbs, ha dako kaayo, JAIMEE ANEEZA MICHAELA RANO.
Manna Alcaraz: ok2...sige sighe
jan michel rano: 2 days in labor, then induced sakit kaayo. hapit ko mo syaget og doc cs na lng ko
Manna Alcaraz: walay pic na apil ka?
jan michel rano: God is good normal delivery
jan michel rano: wala pa kay busy pako bantay ug bata
Manna Alcaraz: haha ok
Manna Alcaraz: i miss you jm
jan michel rano: sos mingaw na ko ninyo ms.m
jan michel rano: lalo na nabalitaan ko na 6-on-6 mo
jan michel rano: i miss dark angels. i miss football
jan michel rano: nwei i am bless with a little gurl
Manna Alcaraz: tinuod
Manna Alcaraz: asa gani ka karon?
jan michel rano: pretty baya sya hahaha
Manna Alcaraz: ofcourse
jan michel rano: dri amo south cotabato
Manna Alcaraz: waaaah
jan michel rano: naa video sa multiply nako
jan michel rano: blastie.multiply.com
Manna Alcaraz: sige j, tc jud... your blessed bitaw
Manna Alcaraz: i have to work sah ha but io really hope i see you soon
jan michel rano: unta maka balik ko dha kanang mag laag nya ta. hehehe
jan michel rano: cge work sa dha

This picture is the CUTEST! awww....jm i miss you dear. :,)


J, I know what you've been through. What matters now is you have a cute little angel with you now who will make everything you've been through really worth it. I miss you and you know that we your fellow angels will always be with you. Come here soon so we can all pamper your baby ASAP. *huuuugz*