Define HAPPINESS

I just received the best compliment today from my friend Josette (who celebrated her bday last sept. 11---happy bday sette!!!): "Hmmmm....you look fine today. You look HAPPY. Walay gabother nimo karon. Dili ka murag naay problema." (To think I had a ZIT on my lower left cheek! haha)

I don't know if I always looked problematic in the past whenever I saw Josette, but her compliment actually confirmed the fact that I was indeed happy with my life right now and that it actually showed.

No, I am not inlove. I did not get a promotion. My savings is still ZERO. I haven't slimmed down yet. I even came from a very exciting yet stressful 5-day shoot from Dumaguete and Siquijor (yes post about it later). I haven't been getting any sleep because of the frequent insomnia attacks. So why did I look happy despite the humongous pimple I have under my left cheek?

Maybe because I am at peace with my life. Or that there are no complications in it? Maybe because I've learn to trust God more with my life and learned to just throw away all my problems (if there were) to HIM. Maybe because I have finally learned to be contented with what I have.

But whatever it was that Josette saw...I'm just happy that she saw it. Because when she did, I was like..."Bitaw noh, happy man ko."

So what is happiness then?

For me...its CHOOSING to be happy even if there are no actual and tangible reasons to be happy.

Thanks for noticing Sette, because of it, I also noticed too. Weird. (Dapat pajud diay naay lain na makabantay. haha)

So how about you?

What's your definition of happiness? :)

Rock a bye baby just kept rocking!

As of 9:30pm tonight, I have been awake for 18 hours straight. Woke up at an unusual time of 3:30am a while ago because I was feeling sooooo thirsty. So I went down, got a glass of water and went up again. Tried to sleep again but I couldn't. So I turned on the light, took a leak,tried to sleep again. Fixed my bed, swept the floor...and tried to sleep again.

But I just couldn't. So I had this weird desire to search for my writing portfolio (clips from our school paper and internship stint at sunstar). I searched my room and almost turned it upside down but I couldn't find it. I was sooo frustrated that I climbed to the upper deck of my bed to try to get a bird's eye view of my room. Still---I couldn't find it.

Before I knew it, my alarm went off. Went down, ate breakfast (which was unusual for me because I never eat breakfast since I'm ALMOST always late.) Bought laundry soap, went back to my room, went to the office and I was the earliest person there. Like 1 hour early! Haha.

SIX shoots (yes I had six freakin shoots today--of ALL the days) and 18 hours later, I am still wide awake. Not feeling a bit sleepy. Just scared. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

By the way--by "shoot" I mean taping for work ok. Not shoot as in maka-bai-high shoot. Haha. Just had to clarify, you might think I was on something illegal.

Nothing illegal. Just ANIONized water. Haha. Which I will blog about later on if I see the results. Been drinking it for 3 days only.

Now I am just floating.



I was sooo energized the whole day pagyud because of the adrenaline rush of SIX shoots. We had to shoot Sir Mike, Sir Johann--both for World Vision Campaign. Then Around Town, then Tara's Ultimate Living, then two Real Life episodes with Andrew Sarmiento and --ahem, Joe Vince Cañizares. Yeah exciting day. WATCH OUT FOR THE EPISODES!!! Only on RCTV Ch. 36 guys! :)

I'm about to end this blog already and I am still not feeling sleepy. Help.

i've been taken

by TAKEN BY CARS. haha



have you watched the video of their song December 2 Chapter VII? CLICK if you haven't.



What music is on your mp3 now? :)

Friendster Shoutouts

Sometimes I view profiles because of their shoutouts. If you've noticed, it is now a trend to have "emo" shoutouts in friendster. I have my own personal share of emo shoutouts. Sometimes a take a lyric from a song and place it as a shoutout. Sometimes I try to come up with my own--depending on the mood I am in.

My current shoutout is "Some battles are meant to be lost..." Cheesy? Why not. Hehe. I do believe though that there is an emo hiding in each and every person. And those shoutouts prove my point. Sometimes you see your tough, carefree friends sporting those emo shoutouts. And you realize--woah, is this really him/her?

Well the story behind my shoutout is pretty obvious. People always expect to win in all aspects of their lives. Ofcourse, who wouldn't? But failing is also inevitable. And there are many types of failures. And sometimes, instead of being in denial, it is better to accept things as they are. That way, you move on with your life and venture on another endeavor. And so the shoutout story---yeah, story of our lives.

Anyway here are a few shoutouts I copied from my friends. Pretty dramatic stuff, actually. Or I don't know, maybe all my friends are simply inlove. Judge for yourselves!

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling inlove with you I had no control over.” --A classic case of falling inlove with a friend. :) I'm sure you have.

“I love you…I need you…to hold me every night” -- every night jed? hehe...joke lang. :) (ok, don't pretend your not envious)

“All I’m gonna have is all that you can give me And I’ll give right back Everything I have in me ‘cause nothing ever felt as right as this does right now.”-- True...every relationship should be give and take

"“Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries..." -- Ug sa tagalog pa "Ang buhay ay parang gulong."

"im here without you....." -- Shoutout sa mga gibuwagan. hahaha

"it's all my fault!...i LOVE you,you HATE me... =(" -- scary. would never want this to happen to me

"even though we see one another a little often than no more they still keep those stringy thoughts of them attached to me for the sake of making me smile again. over and over again." -- reminiscing. :) we all do.

"MY LoVe FoR You iS a JouRNeY; STaRTiNG aT FoReVeR, aND eNDiNG aT NeVeR.." -- promises, promises... hehe kidding, but i hope you guys last. :)

"You cant break me coz it would only make me stronger.." -- AMEN!

"confused.." -- we all are sometimes :)

""in the lonely light of morning in the wound that would not heal is the bitter taste of losing everything that i've held so dear... i've fallen i have sunk so low i messed up better i should know so don't come round here and tell me i told you so.." -- awwww... :( nosebleed!!!

"..you're my favorite adventure..." -- so sweet. :)

"And I just can't pull myself away Under His Spell I can't break... I just can't stop ..." -- clearly enamored :)

"i was on the brink of disintegration and certain things have altered the landscape of my soul but there you are with your utmost love.. you lifted me up just when i thought i was about to lose the last strand of my sanity.." -- we all have our own personla saviors :)

How about you? What's your friendster shoutout? :)

Dr. Phil?

Just think of the 6-month theory. Your heartbroken now. Your miserable. You think your life is over. But try to look at yourslef 6 months from now. Do you still see yourself being miserable? I don't think so.

I was hanging out with some "kids" a while ago who were experiencing "love problems." Naturally since they thought I was older and (a bit) wiser, they asked me for advise. They are 19 year old guys who had problems with their girlfriends. One was in a long distance relationship and because of that his girlfriend broke up with him. They've been together for 2 years and 3 months. One has an "insensitive" girlfriend. He had to do all the adjustments to be able to make her girl happy.

So I kinda tried to give them a piece of my mind, My advise to the guy who was in an LDR is on the first paragraph. From experience? Well, not really. I actually surprised myself. Where were all those words of wisdom coming from? It was weird that they saw me as an "expert", when really, those were just advises I gathered from collaborative experiences of my friends. I've had my own share of experiences but I'm definitely far--way way far from being an expert. Well really, who is an expert on love? No one really is right, especially when you are the one faced with the situation. Its easier giving out advise when you're looking at the relationship as a third party. But really, when you're in it, when you are actually the one in the situation, do you also see what others see?

I'm glad I'm single because I do not have to undergo the pains and emotional stress of being in a relationship. I'm glad to be in the position of the "adviser". Im glad to not be in their place of being heartbroken and all.

And then it makes me wonder. When the time comes for me to be in a serious commitment, will I remember all the advise I gave out? Being single and listening to other people's experiences gives me time to prepare myself for what will be in store for me when I become in a relationship soon.

Soon. God-willing.

As for now, being a 22 year old single female has its perks. But sometimes, I just wonder how the next chapter is gonna be.

So yeah, to 19 year old A and 19 yr old B, you still have your whole life ahead of you. It is not the end of the world.

How about you? Do you follow your own advise?

Yes, I am blessed :)

The past few days made me realize two things:

1.) Some broken relationships have to stay broken.

2.) But some are also meant to be fixed.

I am thankful for the many great people that have took their time to make my life one of their stopovers. It is a known fact (cliche even) that people just come and go. Like it or not, its a thing that we all have to deal with. However the beauty of this cycle is that when certain people have to move along with their own journeys, a new set of people comes along and instantly refills their places. I clearly did not use the word "replace" because no one can replace anyone. They merely refill a missing area in our lives--and add some more even.

So going back to the two things that I have learned. Yup, some relationships (friendships/kinships/uyabships..whatever) are not constant. When you realize that despite every effort you put into something that will never work, you just have to accept that some things should just be left alone. Yes, some battles are really meant to be lost.

On the other hand, when a thing can still be fixed, it really can be fixed. I am happy with a recent reconciliation I had with a good friend. The silent war we had really had me bothered, but now after the reconciliation, not only do I feel better, I also feel vindicated.

Despite a recent re-letting go, I am also happy that there is also a welcoming back. God does work in mysterious ways, and I do not mind because I know that His plans are perfect for me. I've stopped questioning His will already. I've realized that once we surrender everything to Him, instead of feeling vulnerable, we become more invincible.

Sometimes it is so hard to look for the silver lining when all we focus on are the dark clouds, but looking at the brighter side of life is a hundred times better than staying in the dark.

Yes, despite the P8 fare, the weird weather, the war in Mindanao, the piling debts-- I am still blessed.

How about you? Have you counted your blessings lately?

Sick Cycle Carousel--not the song

You are my ever recurring sweet dream that always ends up as a nightmare...and when morning comes and when I have awaken, it is all gone. It was after all just a dream....

But I am not awake forever. Dawn will come, sleep will once again consume me.

And you will visit me again.

In a sweet dream.

In a nightmare.

Whichever. Whatever. Wherever.

And come morning, reality will once again awaken me.

But I cannot also stop the setting of the sun. I do not have the power. The ability.

My krypton. My sick cycle carousel.